“You can play a shoestring if you’re sincere”

Hello! Well, as usual I’m up before the sun comes up. Some might feel a little sorry for me, but in a house with a husband, two kids, a giant dog, a water turtle, two snakes and at any given time a couple of snails I will make the sacrifice to wake up early to have a little peace. And to also try to find a little piece of me.

 Ever since I moved from Colorado I feel like I have been trying to I guess figure out who I am. Brett had given me this magnet set as a gift and you can pick a quote for each day, but the only quote that I chose for every day since then was; “Find your Passion.” I’m in the kitchen a lot and I look at that phrase many times. Still I don’t think I have a true passion for anything. So, that brings me to my post title…You can play a shoestring if you’re sincere. I think that phrase will always stick with me from now on. I heard it on the radio and the host made the point that if you truly are passionate and believe in what you are doing you can do anything you set your mind to. Of course that sounds easy to do–just in my case I don’t know why I’ve never found my passion.

All through my life I have been good at things. I loved ballet as a girl and truly dreamt that I could go dance in Paris (reason why I took French instead of Spanish!), then I played the flute and I was very good at that for my age, but never pursued it after high school, I loved to act in theater and I let my insecurities stop me from pursuing that too. I was good in art, I remember winning awards as a kid. Now I took up crocheting which I enjoy doing, but now I feel like I don’t have time to really do it. When I was making Christmas presents I would jokingly be called the “twiddler” and felt guilty for doing something that I enjoyed because I wasn’t giving my full attention while I was crocheting.

That’s when I started to wake up earlier than everyone. So, that I could do the thing that I enjoyed in peace.

Well, I guess this is something that most people go through as they enter adulthood. Or am I already an adult?! I’m 26 with a family trying to find myself. I suppose most people do that before they have kids and responsibilities–I just did things in reverse. One thing is for sure–I have been passionate about my kids. They were my and are my life. This last year we as a family went through a very hard time, battling addiction and depression, and I centered everything I had around my children. Now the dust has cleared and I kind of feel like I’m still in the dust. Even though things are challenging I would never change my situation for anything because from it I have grown as a woman and a mother. I want to be the strong one even when I feel weak.  I will never regret giving Journey and Faith the attention and dedication I gave them, but now I ask myself daily, who is Kalisha? What is my passion?

You know one very important thing that having children has taught me, kind of corny, but it has showed me how to enjoy each little moment and I’m still working on the patience part! On Friday we joked about longest distance is when your two year old wants to walk all by herself–it does take us about fifteen minutes to a half an hour sometimes to get to the park because Journey stops to look and discover everything. Flowers, rocks, bugs, walking on the ledge then jumping off, chasing squirrels and living each moment for the moment. Living in the NOW–that is the key to I suppose finding my passion and just being happy. Because right now in this moment I have no worries, no problems–just a keyboard in front of me! That is my goal this week–to just be in the moment and not forget my struggles but to just focus on what I have and be happy with it. Take it easy through the rest of your week and come back tomorrow and check out what we have to say again! Love, Kalisha

 

 

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2 Responses

  1. I really loved what you said. I know how you feel, I’m 28 with a one year old and he is my life. But I never really did find “my passion”. I’m trying to figure out what that means and how one achieves. I hope you find the inner peace and tranquility you seek. Thank you!

  2. I love that quote. It speaks to me, too. I recently became a mom and it was really quite lonely. Completely amazing, but it also left me wondering who the heck I was. There is nothing as lonely as that. Of course my child is my passion, but now that she is six months and I am just a little less tired, I want to be more than just a great mom. As such, I have recently taken on all kinds of “creative” projects and they are leading me to better understand who I am. Keep doing what you love without fear. Also, I have an exercise to recommend. It sounds a little morbid, but you might try writing your obituary. I did and it really helped me focus on what I want to be remembered for.

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