Baby Vultures

There are a few things about Motherhood we wish someone would have told us before we had the kids. The absolute first thing would be that even after labor there is still more pushing and prodding and whole bunch of unnecessary things that happen to you! Anyway on to the second thing we wish someone would have told us about before becoming a Mom. #2. The things that a Mom will never do alone again! Who knew that trying to enjoy some of life’s simple pleasures like a lollipop would have the baby vultures flying in! So, today we are going to let you know (if you’re pregnant) or just recap (if you’re a Mom already) all the things you will never do alone again! Unless you get the in-laws to babysit or can get a babysitter or nanny, but if you are fortunate enough to be with the baby vultures 24/7 then we don’t even have to explain!

Things you will never do alone again!

  1. Sleep!
  2. Go to the bathroom–even #2! Can we also add, changing tampons!
  3. Have sex, unless you want to risk doing it with the kid in the room and chance them waking up and possibly scarring them for life!
  4. Eat a lollipop, ice cream, chocolate or any type of delicious treat! (but is it wrong to eat it in another room really quickly before the baby vultures see you!) Hee Hee!
  5. Have an uninterrupted conversation without all the repetitive, “Mommy,Mommy…Excuse me’s!”
  6. Watch what you want to on T.V. between the hours of 7am-8pm
  7. Did we mention SLEEP?
  8. Run a quick errand. Now the fifteen minute errand turns into a half a day errand. Remember to add 30 minutes per child to your estimated errand time. 😉

Three words I always love to hear; “More broccolli,please!”

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7 Responses

  1. You are sooo right. The tampon thing really gets to me… you would not believe how good i’ve gotten at sneaking them in and out without anyone noticing (and I’ve got 3).

  2. SO FUNNY!

  3. I think we are sharing a brain! I have been keeping a list exactly like this….with every intention of eventually blogging about it. I think it is going to the bathroom with company that gets me. My kids actually expect hugs to be available to them WHILE I AM GOING. Slightly insane.

    And I love your quote about cleaning up after kids being akin to shoveling during a blizzard. I actually complained about this to my husband today!

    I’m glad I found you! Thanks for coming by!

  4. LMAO about eating treats quickly in the other room! Just want to say thanks Reneca for being my FIRST comment on my new blog!

  5. I needed a good laugh. I just found your blog [on the motherhood]. This is so true….. I am fortunate to be with my “baby vulture” 24/7, and I do *nothing* alone. Ahhh, but what would I do without her? 🙂

  6. […] three days I will be free to sleep-in, eat ice cream and chocolate all day, watch TV and…OMG! I will do things alone! I can’t wait! Let me know if you have any suggestions on how I could spend me time. Or else I […]

  7. […] I feel like somedays I don’t leave the kitchen area except to use the restroom and even then I’m not alone! So, since my kitchen is one of the few spaces in the house that is exclusively mine I have a tip […]

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