How to cure the “Frump Syndrome”

We are both reading the book “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. She talks about the “Frump Syndrome” that we fall into after marriage and especially after children. Dr. Laura lists the symptoms as “wearing flannel pajamas and socks, or sweatpants with oversized T-shirts, to bed instead of some girly thing with lace; not shaving legs or grooming nails; not washing, styling, or even combing hair; taking off (instead of freshening up) makeup from the day just before your husband comes home; using the toilet with him in the room; not making an attempt to smell sweet; and never putting on sexy outfits…in front of your husband.”

Both Reneca and I have fallen into the “Frump Syndrome”, but just taking a little extra effort on our parts has helped to start to cure our “syndrome.” Dr. Laura says that “looking womanly and behaving sweetly and flirtatiously are gifts wives give to their husbands. This gifts communicates to the husband that his is seen as a man and not just a fix-it guy, bread winner or sperm donor.” Men are easy and if we want them to help around the house or be under our control, then be the “girl” that he fell in love with.

Raising kids, taking care of the house, running errands and driving carpools are all time consuming, but taking a few extra minutes in the morning and night can help you to come out of the frumpiness and be the woman you were before kids.

In the morning:

5 minute face; that should be all it takes to look fresh and natural. We still want to be beautiful, but not like a night walker 🙂 This is what we do…

  • Wash face and brush teeth
  • Apply tinted moisturizer or foundation, lip gloss and mascara
  • Spritz a little body spray or light perfume

That’s it–you are ready for the day. Just don’t forget the other essentials like lotion and deodorant 🙂

Now before your husband comes home for the day try to freshen up Touch up your face, more lip gloss and a little sweet smelling spray. Also, change into a spit up and booger free shirt. Just doing this will help you as well as please your husband. Dr. Laura quotes one man saying that “guys have a natural and deep desire to be with a woman who cares enough about herself to look good for her mate.” When we look good–we feel good, no matter what anyone wants to say.

Before bed (usually after the kids are put to bed) take a shower and put on something, not frumpy, that your husband enjoys seeing you in. Guys like different things, so maybe ask him if you don’t know anymore. Or just walk around in panties and a shirt. Just taking the extra effort even if you are exhausted will have big payoffs to your advantage. When they see you making an effort to look good for them they will be more willing to do things to make you happy.

As we grow in our Motherhood we have to keep in mind that we were lovers first and to not forget about the needs of our spouses. Have a great weekend and feel free to comment or ask us questions. We also love this book so go and check it out from the library or buy your own!

Kalisha and Reneca


One Response

  1. […] 5-minute face in the morning. Head straight to the bathroom right when you wake up so that you can get yourself together and be ready for the day. […]

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