You know you’re a Mother when…

You Know You’re a Mother When …

 

You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.

You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

Your kid throws-up and you catch it.

Someone else’s kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

As you cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.

You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it’s the only one your child eats.

You find yourself cutting your husband’s sandwiches into cute shapes.

You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say, “NOT in your good clothes!”

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you. (maybe not!)

You hire a sitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.

You use your own saliva to clean your child’s face.

You say at least once a day, “I’m not cut out for this job”, but you know you wouldn’t trade it for anything”.

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3 Responses

  1. That list had me laughing, especially the ones about throw up! So true!
    Toni

  2. Based on my life yesterday, I have to add:

    You know you’re a mom when:

    You own a steam cleaner for the first time in your life and find that you’re having to use it more than once a week for all the paint, throw up, pee, and milk in the carpet.

    You are excited that your mother is buying you a new vacuum for your birthday because you highly suspect the current one isn’t getting all the sand, crushed play dough, and old rice out of the carpet.

    You go to bed and find that someone has secretly placed a half dozen coins, a crayon drawing, and part of a pretty ribbon under your pillow! (Gotta say, that really makes up for the above!)

  3. Lynnie–Those are so true too! That is what I asked for for X-mas. I really want a Dyson! But I also thought to myself, when did it become exciting to get a vacuum as a gift?! Motherhood is crazy. Thanks for the additions–so funny! Kalisha

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