What is the real point of marriage?

Its been almost 2 weeks since Duan I were married.  Getting adjusted to regular life has been rough.  Getting back on schedule and orgranized  has definitely been a chore.  Slowly but surely things have  calmed down and life has gotten back to normal. 

Two weeks later I can definitely tell you that I completely under- estimated significance of the day.  Duan and I had already committed ourselves to each other.  So getting married seemed to only be for logistics (the marriage certificate).  I was pleasantly surprised about how great that day truly was.  We tried to keep the day simple; focusing on the spiritual aspects of the day, rather than the cosmetic commercialism which today encompasses most weddings. 

I realized that if people really and truly took their vows seriously as they should, we wouldn’t have a 50% divorce rate.  I personally think people get so caught up in the glitz and the glam of the day.  Finding the perfect dress, wedding coordinator.  According to Tickled Pink’s Bride blog the average cost of a US wedding: $28,800 (est. for 2007)
Average number of guests: 167
Destination weddings: 11%
Percentage of weddings paid for by brides’ parents: 57%


Engagement ring: $5570
Photography/videography: $2570
Band: $3197
DJ: $804
Rehearsal dinner: $1153
Flowers: $2048
Wedding gown: $1564
Chapel or Site Fee: $435
Officiant: $263
Wedding Cake: $543
Wedding Planner: $3262 (but only 17% of brides will use one)
Hair and Makeup: $190
Attendants Gifts: $605
Bar/Bartender: $2938
Honeymoon: $3825

The average age of brides and grooms has grown higher in the last decade, with today’s newlyweds aged 27-29 years old. This age group claims a yearly salary of $51,900.

Commercialism is a virus that has infected the vast population.  It obvious to see that you should not spend $30,000 on one day  when that is half or even a third of your yearly income.  I feel like our wedding day was authentic, pure, and loving.  —not to say if you spend $ 30,000 your day would be special or true.—-I am happy that we did it.  We didn’t just go through the motions, our vows came from the heart. It was more than a legality, we declared our love to each other in front of our friends and families, and instantly became accountable to our commitment.  As far as I’m conscerned there is no out clause.  I’m am going to be with Duan forever and ever and ever and ever……( 🙂  you get the point). 

If you or anyone you know is getting married step out of the box and don’t keep up with the Jones’.  Stick to what is important, the spiritual union of two people.  Its okay if you don’t have everything you saw on “Platnum Weddings”.  Keep your money in the bank and buy a house for your family, or pay of some debt.  Set your family up for financial success in the begining rather than in debt. (Don’t let anyone else like your parents go into debt either, they probably want to retire at some point, right!) I hope you have a great day. 

Much love, Reneca

Go to 3 Orchids to check out some more pics of the day.


2 Responses

  1. I just saw my mom last week and happened to say, “Aren’t you glad I didn’t cost you a fortune by having a wedding?” She was!

    Our Expenses:
    Justice of the Peace: $65
    Cake Mix and Icing: $15
    Several Bouquets of Flowers: $100
    Dinner Out: $100

    We are pretty non-traditional; we didn’t even do rings! Jewelry has never been something that I was into, so I felt like why start now just to conform to a tradition. I would DEFINITELY just lose it and then feel terrible.

    That said, if I was a millionaire I totally would have done something spectacular just for a laugh! As it is, I LOVE my husband and our simple wedding was just what I wanted.

  2. Congratulations on getting married!

    It is totally true that more focus is put on the wedding than on the actual marriage. I cannot believe how much money people spend on their weddings! My husband and I spent around $3,000 – $4,000 and that’s a generous estimate. We did most everything ourselves. And I still think we could’ve saved that money for a down-payment on a house and it would’ve gone to a better use. Eloping is under-rated. 🙂

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